Maddened By The Stars
by ToddLover13
Summary: This is my interpretation of how Johanna's Diary would be like. Rated T for later chapters. First Sweeney Fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first Sweeney Todd fanfic. I was watching the movie for the like 500th time when I started wondering what Johanna's diary would be like.**

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><p>April 26, 1862<p>

Dear Diary,

My name is Johanna. I have been asking my captivator, the "Honorable" Judge Turpin, to buy me a diary or a journal to write in for you see, I'm not allowed outside of the house or have any friends. It's a dull life, I know, but I'm locked inside with no way out. Like a bird condemned to its cage. I dream of a better life outside of this cage, but the Judge clipped my wings and I'm damned to a life of dreariness and misery.

Today I overheard the Judge and the Beadle talking about some men coming from some boat, "The Bountiful", that docked tonight. They said something about delivering a special kind of book. I'm not sure what the book is about and I'm not too sure if I want to find out.

How was my day, you ask? Same old, same old. All I do all day is sit by my window, needlepoint, and day dream of a better life outside of this jail I call home.

Who am I kidding? I hate this place. The Judge is a cruel man who separated me from my family. I know he sent my father away to jail, but I could never believe he did anything to deserve it, and I know he raped my mother at one of his parties. I could never let something like that happen to me, so I try to keep my distance. I only come out of my room to get food and go to the bathroom, but strange enough, I never feel alone in there. I feel like I'm being watched constantly. It's a creepy feeling.

Well, I honestly don't have anything to write in you write now. Maybe tomorrow things will be exciting, although I highly doubt it.

- Johanna Barker

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><p>April 27, 1862<p>

Dear Diary,

I was wrong diary, today was a tad different. I was sitting on the seat by my window, needle pointing a bouquet of flowers. That was when I began to sing the song I wrote about birds. It goes like this:

_Green Finch and Linnet Bird_

_Nightingale Blackbird_

_How is it you sing?_

_How can you jubilate_

_Sitting in cages_

_Never taking wing?_

_Outside the sky waits_

_Beckoning, beckoning!_

_Just beyond the bars!_

_How can you remain_

_Staring at the rain_

_Maddened by the stars?_

_How is it you sing_

_Anything?_

_How is it you sing?_

_My cage has many rooms_

_Damask and dark_

_Nothing there sings_

_Not even my lark_

_Larks never will you know_

_When their captive_

_Teach me to be_

_More adaptive_

_Ah…_

_Green Finch and Linnet Bird_

_Nightingale Blackbird_

_Teach me how to sing!_

_If I can not fly!_

_Let me sing!_

Well, while I was singing the song, a handsome young man seemed to have heard me. It was love at first sight. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Does he like me? I hope so. That was when the magic was broken by my maid. She told me that the Judge needed my presence at once. He had said that he'd seen me staring at the mysterious man and wondered if I had fallen in love with him. I politely lied to him and said no. Truthfully he was the love of my life. You know how they say that when you know that you have found the love of your life you have a special feeling? I felt that feeling.

He told me to go back up to my room, and I did, but I wont be here for long. I'm going back downstairs, for knowing Judge Turpin, he's going to invite the man in to learn more about him. I'll be right back.

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><p>April 27, 1862 (continued)<p>

Anthony Hope. His name is Anthony Hope. Has a nice ring to it. Anthony and Johanna Hope. Johanna and Anthony Hope. Hey look! Her comes Mr. and Mrs. Hope! They look so happy and cute together.

I really hope I get to formally meet him. He can take me away from this hellhole for once and for all. Maybe we can move to Paris. I've always wanted to go there. We could travel the world together, or maybe settle down in a quaint town and raise a family. It doesn't matter to me, just as long as I'm with him.

I'm going to try to sleep now. I hope I dream about Anthony, but I highly doubt it. I never have dreams, only nightmares. Wish me luck.

- Johanna Hope

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><p>April 28, 1862<p>

Dear Diary,

Earlier today I snuck downstairs to steal a spare key to the house, just incase Anthony would come back for me. My instincts were correct. I saw him hiding behind one of my houses pillars. Overjoyed I opened the window and threw the key towards him. I saw him smile at me as he picked it up and ran off. I smiled back as my heart swelled. It felt strange though, as if I wasn't alone.

Well anyway, does this mean he's coming tonight? Is he coming tomorrow? What should I wear? I hope he's smart enough to come when the Judge isn't here. Of course he is, especially after what happened yesterday. Well, whenever he's coming, I'll be waiting for him.

- Johanna Hope

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><p><strong>Sorry it's so short. Please Review. Two reviews for a new chapter. :) Thanks!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, here's chapter two! Sorry this one is so short too. I have a feeling this story is going to be short :/**

**Oh, well. I have camp nowadays so I have little time to write this stuff.**

**Thank you xDazedandConfusedX and obsessivelyfanaticgw09 for commenting :) well anyway. Here's the next chapter! Enjoy.**

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><p>April 29, 1862<p>

Dear Diary,

Oh my god! Anthony came! When I saw him standing outside my doorway my heart filled with joy and I didn't know what to say. I think I stuttered a bit. Did I stutter? I hope not.

Anyway, while the Judge was at the courthouse, Anthony came. I was continuing my flower needlepoint as he knocked on the door. At first I thought it was Judge Turpin so I sighed, turned around and said "Come in." Anthony opened the door and smiles crept on both of our faces.

We said our hellos and talked for a long while, until he felt like he should go so the Judge wouldn't find out he was there.

Right before he left though, he asked a serious question that needed a serious answer. He wants me to come away with him! That question made my heart burst in joy. I smiled a huge smile and said yes. That was when he planted a kiss on my cheek and told me that he'd come back for me later.

I'm packing for the journey so I'll write in you later. I can't believe this is really happening. This is it, we run off and all of our dreams come true.

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><p>April 29, 1862 (Continued)<p>

Those two vile men. My hatred for the Judge and the Beadle has grown. Somehow the Judge figured out our tight plan to escape together. The Judge barged into my room while I was packing. He insulted me, I am too a lady. No gentleman doesn't knock before entering a lady's room. While he was talking, I quietly slipped you and a quill under my dress.

The Judge sent the Beadle to grab me in a most uncomfortable way. Those two perverts! I really hope they didn't notice you under my dress. The Judge had the Beadle carry me to a carriage, even though they know perfectly well that I can walk on my own. The Beadle threw me in the carriage with a lot of force. It's a good thing that he's riding on top with the coach so he doesn't see me writing in you.

I'm really sad and scared right now, for right when the Beadle threw me in the carriage, I heard Anthony yelling and screaming for me. I felt horrible. If only the Judge had come a little later. How did the Judge even find out? Anthony and I kept our little plan to elope tight.

I'm scared because I heard the address of where they were taking me. It was the address to Fogg's Asylum. I've heard about what happens there. They stick you in a straightjacket, through you in a cell with other women, and leave you there. Other birds with clipped wings. It's inhumane!

Hopefully Anthony will come for me. Hopefully? He will! Anthony will come for me! I just know he will! If I ever get the chance to, I'll write in you later. I highly doubt it though.

- Johanna Barker to be Hope

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><p>April 29, 1862 (continued)<p>

The Judge and Beadle left me in this room while they filled out the papers. It's dreary and damp in here. The walls and floors are made out of cold gray stone. The only sources of light here are the few torches lit hanging on the walls. If the Judge "loves" me so much, he sure has a funny way of showing it. If he really loved me he wouldn't be putting me in an asylum for lunatics. I was perfectly sane last time I checked. This isn't fair at all.

Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why this isn't fair. This is a little game we play where he cheats. We're all just puppets in a small play, where the Judge is the puppeteer. It's all just a charade.

It's only been about two minutes and this _place_ is driving me insane. I don't know how much longer I can take it here.

Anthony…

I miss him so much. If we are to run off together, he's going to have to rescue me, and soon! I know our love is pure and true. When I'm put in yet another cage, I'll be waiting for you.

Oh, Anthony, please come to me soon!

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><p><strong>Again, sorry it's so short. This time I'm going to need three reviews for a new chapter. I would really appreciate it. :3 Thanks! <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Well. Here is the last chapter! :) sorry it took too long. I had camp and my birthday came up yesterday and then I got sick. Hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>May 1, 1862<p>

Oh, my dearest Anthony. I knew he'd come.

It was so scary at the asylum. In the night, the lunatics would scream so loud. Just about everyone was either curled up in a ball hugging their legs and rocking back and forth. They all had a strange glassy gleam in their eyes, like the body was there but the person wasn't present. And when they'd stare at you, it'd chill you to the bone.

I would always stay by the barred windows, looking out for my dearest Anthony. He came last night and circled around the walled fortress for a way in, but to no avail.

My Anthony is very clever though. He dressed up as a wigmaker's apprentice to get in. Mr. Fogg bought it and let him into my cell filled with other blondes. When Anthony got the chance he grabbed me and left the vengeful blondes to release their maddened, bottled up wrath on the maniac asylum keeper.

As we ran down the hallway, the other lunatics screamed and reached out to drag us into their insane world. The blackness shrouded us as a natural cloak as we snuck through the streets of London. Anthony was telling me that we would sneak to Fleet Street to his friend, Mr. Todd. He said that he'll let us use his tonsorial parlor to hide out in. Anthony tells me that Mr. Todd is a kind man, a saint. I will have to write in you later, someone is coming.

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><p>May 1, 1862 (continued)<p>

Anthony has no idea what the hell he's talking about.

The beggar woman came up looking for the Beadle as I hid in a giant chest in the corner of the barber shop. The crazy hag was singing until the barber must've showed up at the door. He questioned her why she was there. All she said as a reply was scream about "the devil's wife" and "evil from below". She then thought she knew the barber. I don't know what happened after that but I heard a loud clank and footsteps running up the stairs. I recognized the voice to be Judge Turpin's. I froze in the box, hoping that he wouldn't find me there.

I heard him talking to Mr. Todd about me though. Apparently the barber has set Anthony up to bring me here, just so he could give me back to the Judge for a reward or something. I know the Judge would give anything to have me back.

After they finished talking, Mr. Todd offered him a shave as they both started to sing about women. It was quite queer. What person burst out into song and harmony as they're receiving a free shave?

When they finally finished singing, the Judge said something about meeting a fellow spirit. Everything after that became a deathly whisper until a sudden outburst of "BENJAMIN BARKER" came from Mr. Todd. I don't know why they would be screaming my father's name like that. It offends me.

After he yelled that I heard sputtering and the heaving dripping of a thick liquid. I heard the loud clunk a second time and the barber started to sing about friends resting and untroubled sleep of angels. That was when I stupidly opened the top of the box a crack and it made a creaking noise. I made a small gasp as I saw the barber drenched from head to toe in blood. It wasn't his blood though, of course, but it was probably the Judge's. It was a horrible deed, although I was quite relieved that I wouldn't have to worry about him stalking Anthony and I in our new house.

The barber picked up his bloody razor and slowly walked towards my hiding place. There I was, cowering in the corner of the chest, dressed as my dear Anthony. The barber actually mistook me to be a young boy.

The man also mistook me for going there for a shave.

He picked me out of the chest and threw me in his barber chair muttering something about everyone needing a shave. Right before I took what I was sure would be my final breath, a blood curdling scream filled the air.

He brought his razor to my face and stared deeply into my eyes. He told me to forget his face. Not like I will since he did that. He stomped off downstairs and a little relief filled me with every step. I got really lucky. I don't see how Anthony thinks he's a really kind and sweet guy.

When he came back up to tell me the coach was ready, I was frozen still, in the spot Mr. Todd left me in. I told Anthony the whole story and he just waved it off, called it poppycock and told me that I must've spent too much time in that asylum.

Maybe he's right, but it seemed to be so real.

I am currently in the carriage riding off to Paris where Anthony and I will live quietly and raise a family. The marriage is to be tomorrow, Sunday May 2. I haven't even gotten fitted for a wedding dress, we haven't bought a cake, or even made reservations at a church! We have so much work to do in time so brief.

Anthony is sitting across from me waiting patiently for me to finish so we can plan this out. I can feel his warm, auburn eyes watching my every move. I don't think I need to write in you again, diary. I can interact with people now, and live life on my own with Anthony. I'll keep you in the bookshelf or somewhere in the house incase I need you. Maybe I'll look back on this one day as a joke. Maybe my kids will read my adventure. The adventure of Johanna Barker. No, not Barker. It's Hope now. Mrs. Johanna Hope.

I guess this is good bye diary. Thank you for your help and listening to me.

- Mrs. Johanna Hope

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed the finale! Please review! It would mean a lot to me. :) Thank you.<strong>


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